Banned books week is coming to a close, so I thought I talk about Harry Potter. Hahaha, sillies, not THE Harry Potter by the masterful, wonderful, fabulous J.K. Rowling.
No. I want to talk about Harry Potter as it is being “rewritten” by a charming woman. Now, there’s a lot of fan fiction out there and I haven’t read any in years (probably about fifteen years…) but when this absolute gem was brought to my attention I had to read it. I just… had to.
Now, “Grace Ann” has a mission from The Lord to rewrite J.K. Rowling’s masterpieces because… wait for it…
“My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I’m happy for them to be reading; but I don’t want them turning into witches!“
A valid fear, I must say.
This fan fiction, which is now sitting at seven chapters resembles the originals so little that it’s just crazy-pants. I really don’t give a shit about canon, or the fact that she changes Harry’s eye color from green to blue, etc. What’s troubling about this version is the blatant sexism, the demonization of everyone who doesn’t share a super fundamentalist Christian view (my bets are on Jehovah’s Witnesses), and quite frankly, Grace Ann’s belief that evolution is a religion.
The whole thing is crazy-pants actually. I was going to do a whole review of it, but it’s been done already, (and quite frankly I’m not sure I could do it without breaking every single one of my negative review guidelines) so what I’ve spent the past three days on is making ironic narration with snarky slides to go with it. I have three chapters posted, I’ve done the audio for the fourth but I think that putting it to slides will have to wait until Monday. If you want to read the entirety of the fan fiction yourself, you can find it here.
So what I present to you are my ironic narrations of “Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles”. I hope you enjoy. Leave a comment, let me know. Also, there’s conversation on whether or not this could be masterfully executed satire, what do you think, Reader? Do I have a future in voice acting?